Lately I've been feeling really conflicted about my expectations vs my abilities. Until now I seem to have been able to keep afloat, but barely. I think I am starting to realize that I cannot keep comparing myself to everybody else and what they do or how they live their lives. I need to focus on me, and what I can do and how I life my life.
So let's stop beating around the bush - up until this point I have been able to swing working full time, maintaining a home, running a small business and going to school two nights a week after work. I don't care if other people can go to school six nights a week - this girl can't.
I don't know how some people manage to juggle ten thousand things at once, it's truly a talent, and I don't have it. Maybe other people are like human-versions of honey badgers; capable and ready for anything. However, I might be a little more like a stiffy goat. Right now I feel like I'm in survival mode, which means I'm really not paying attention or learning during classes, I'm just attending and going through the motions because I have to. I don't want to be in survival mode anymore. So, next year I am changing my schedule around - just one class per semester for me. I might take one or two over the summer sessions as well, but at the end of the day I need to start focusing on what works for me; not what everybody else is doing.
I'm looking forward to having a more balanced amount of time next year to focus on all the aspects of my life. I'm especially looking forward to having the time to let my business continue to grow! I don't care if it takes me ten years to get my masters, one day it'll be done and I'll be proud, proud, proud!
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