Don't Allow Fear to Stop Your Business From Growing!

This is a so-real-I'm-shaking-as-I-write-it post. Lately I've felt a little like I've been dealing with a severe case of writers, designers, and an overall creative block. At one point last week, I felt panic creeping up through my stomach, and I knew, in that moment, I needed to get to the bottom of the craziness. So I've been spending a lot of time thinking about what happened to make me all of a sudden feel this way, and I realized what it is.

My business is growing and I am terrified. Absolutely, dibilitatingly terrified.

There are so many things I know that I need to do to continue to let my business grow, and I was SO certain about these things until a few people planted a few seeds of doubt in my mind. And then those seeds began to grow, and then before I knew it, I had allowed a garden of fear grow. Instead of spending my days just doing the things I knew I needed to do, I found myself thinking about them, analyzing them, and then thinking of a million reasons NOT to do them.

For example, hiring an intern. I need an intern, I need somebody to help me prep files, place orders, research new products, and manage some of my vendor contact relationships. Having an intern would free me up to spend quality time on my new business and working one-on-one with my clients in a more timely fashion. I need an intern.

But when I told a few acquaintances about my need for an intern, they kind of looked at me sideways. One person even said that I shouldn't bring on an intern because I work full time, and do I really want to have an intern spending more time on my business during the day than I do? My gut was screaming "yes! Yes that's exactly what I want! I need somebody to help me when I'm not around", but the way this person was making it sound, I began to feel ashamed for wanting that, and like I would be losing the quality of my business. She asked, "What if they screw things up, and you wouldn't even know until you're home from work?", insinuating that I would then be spending more time fixing the mistake than getting any work done.

That was the bad, bad seed. Which grew, and blossomed, and began spreading like a weed through all of my other business ideas.

What if I hire a lawyer to do my trademarking and then the trademark got rejected?

What if I hire somebody to do my website and it doesn't look perfect?

What if I invest in my new business, and then NOTHING comes of it?

What if I invest in my business, and then something DOES come of it, and I can't keep up with it, and have to turn people down, thus halting my growth all together?

WHAT IF I FAIL AT EVERYTHING?

You see, that seed is a damn weed.

But I am no longer watering it.

If I can't launch my business this month, as planned, that's OK - it will launch as soon as it's perfect. I'm going to hire an intern. I'm going to continue to invest in my business, and it will continue to grow. I am going to launch an amazing, successful, luxury wedding invitation line. I am going to succeed.

And I am going to do it all by just taking each and every small step, and just doing it.

I'm going to do it. Say that with me: I am going to do it. I am, I am, I am.

Alright, excuse me while I go and put up a listing for an intern...

Fear of all Fears – Taxes (& paper work)

By Matt Hunsberger

My husband already knows this all too well, but now I’m admitting to you all that I’m a fearful person.


I’m afraid of heights (there’s a pill for that), I’m afraid of flying (pill for that, too, please), I’m afraid of the dentist (laughing gas for that), I’m afraid of giving blood - or rather, the fainting that goes with it (I’m a fainter), and I’m afraid of big social gatherings (there’s alcohol for that).

But at this point in the growth of my business, it’s time to file for a Tax ID. I know I should have done it a long time ago, but I haven’t, because, well, I’m afraid of that too.

Since the “creation” of Believe Notes, I’ve been going about my business without a whole ton of accountability. It’s scary to admit that, but it’s true and I’ve been very, very casual about how I do business. I feel like once I have a Tax ID, I am no longer just somebody that’s doing this design thing casually, but somebody that has a real business and is being held accountable by those crazy Tax people. I don’t know who they are, but damn, they are scarier than the dentist.

Last year I actually reached out to The Company Corporation to file for a Tax ID number. I even paid the fee and filled out all the forms, but then, right at the end, I got cold feet and shredded the paperwork. I’m not proud of that. But for some reason I am just really, really afraid of the whole tax thing.

I think part of my fear of taxes is my fear of failure. I’m terrified that I’m going to fail at my business because I’m not good enough at paper work and bookkeeping. I mean, I love stationery design, why can’t I continue doing that without having to bother with the paper work? (Hint, hint, I think it’s illegal)

So this year I am doing it. I am filing for my Tax ID number. We’ve already made an appointment with our tax guy – OK, so I chickened out and couldn’t make the appointment myself, luckily I have a husband that did it for me (and then bought me a lollipop and juice box too).

I’ll also be honest and say that I probably wouldn’t have decided to file for my Tax ID number if it weren’t for the fact that I need it to register for attending the National Stationery Show, happening this May. My desire to attend this year, and meet all my fellow Mintie designer friends, has far outweighed my fear of the tax gremlins. Thank you, Minted & the Minted Community for giving me the boost in motivation to go ahead and start this process. You’re all so inspiring, and truly, while I don’t want to let myself down, I really don’t want to let you all down either!

So, up until I meet with our tax guy, I’ll be considering things like possibly changing my business name to be my personal name – what do you think of Jackie Mangiolino Design Studio? I don’t know. It seems a little too real for me! Ha, see, I’m already chickening out…..But really, I want to keep things as easy as possible, and if the tax people say a different business model/name will be easier, well then I’m doing it!

Anyway, were any of you as afraid as I am? Is this going to be as painful as I’m anticipating? Is the bookkeeping really impossible? Do you have any tips?? I could certainly use some encouragement

What I Gained From September 11th

I wasn't going to post today because I didn't think I could say anything that hasn't been said before. However, I've been walking teary-eyed around my house, trying to find ways to occupy my mind. I have already cleaned, cooked and showered. All the while, I cannot and will not turn off the memorial service on TV. I know that it is a painful thing to watch, trust me, I've been crying all morning, but I do not feel it's fair for me to simply turn it off. So many people do not have the option of turning off the pain they feel every single day, so what gives me the right to click a button and pretend the pain is not there? No, I am a New Yorker, and I am an American, I will not turn off the emotions that have plagued me and so many others.

Ten years ago I was in highschool and we were having a huge "class" meeting in the gym, at the end of the meeting we were briefed that there was a plane crash in the City. We were told we could call our families, but we needed to be back before the start of the next class. During the next class my teacher chose not to teach, but rather she brought in a TV and turned on the news. Some of my other teachers did go on teaching that day, as if nothing happened. But by the end of the day, it was clear that it was not an ordinary day.

When I got home from class my dad and I went out on the boat into the bay off the south shore of Long Island. The weather was beautiful, the waters were calm, and we could see Manhattan smoking in the distance.

I did not lose any close relatives, but I mourned intensely anyway. Looking back I believe I was mourning my own loss of security. As time grew on I became a more and more fearful person. I did not realize the impact 9/11 had on me until years later, when my boyfriend told me he wanted to go into the army. It was senior year of high school and he said he didn't want to go to college, he wanted to enroll in the military. I remember begging him to just have a "normal" career, anything other than the military. I cried and pleaded, and begged that he take some classes at school to explore other career paths. He tried to take some other coursework, and after a few years he decided not to enlist, but rather he wanted to be a cop. I was heartbroken, it was still a dangerous job to me, but I could never complain since the military was his alternative.

We had been together for 3 or 4 years and I was mature enough to know I couldn't tell him what to do. So he took the test, and is now a cop. He is also now my husband.

I respect and admire the women with husbands in the military. They are stronger than I am in every way possible, and I am ashamed to admit it, but it is true. I've become terrified and selfish. I do not want my husband to be a hero, I just want him to be my husband. 

I realized that while so many people lost friends and family on September 11th, I gained something. I gained an intense, deep rooted fear of loss. Today, 10 years later, I still have that fear, and I wish so badly that I didn't. My fear grips me when I least expect it, maybe when I'm in the grocery store buying cold cuts, or driving home from work, or when I'm fast asleep and get jolted awake by an intense feeling of panic.

Every year when the 9/11 memorial is held, I feel the fear that I could someday be one of those people. I could some day be the widow reading my husbands name; I could be the single mother, raising children that do not know their father; I could be the depressed, heartbroken human being that will never be able to move on. Some days my fear is crippling, and I'll have nightmares for weeks on end. My husband works at night, so I fear that while I'm sleeping something horrible will be happening to him, and I won't be able to say goodbye. Every night I go to bed with the fear that I might wake up to tragedy.

You might be reading this and thinking to yourself that I'm sick or something. I don't think I'm sick at all, I think I am exactly like all of the men and women who have a husband or wife that serve in any capacity of the word. I think that part of the attacks on Sept. 11th were specifically to instill this fear in so many people, and I am sorry to be a victim of that.

However, I also feel like my fear makes me appreciate my husband so much more. After watching the family members of all the victims from 9/11, I try desperately to take their advice to heart; appreciate what you have and let your loved ones know you love them. No matter how afraid I am, I absolutely refuse to stop living my life to its fullest. I think I've learned to manage my fear. I've decided that it's OK for me to be afraid for my husband at work, but some of my other fears need to be addressed head on. Last year I did a trapeze class, since I am terrified of heights, and while I'd NEVER do it again, at least I didn't let my fear stop me from trying!

On September 11th I think this country changed permanently because the people changed permanently. I am one of those people, and I am sure there are a lot of others out there that gained a sense of fear. I just hope we all move forward in life and don't pass the fear onto the next generation. Hopefully they will not know the fear we know.